This article grew to be very long. So I’m splitting it into everything before the Rumble, and the Rumble and aftermath. The show splits nicely that way.
If you know anything about wrestling, you’ll know that Sunday night did not go well in the city of Philadelphia. I was there, and here’s what happened. First off, we didn’t get in until well after the pre-show started, which was poor planning on someone’s part somewhere. I don’t know if the blame lies with Wells Fargo Center or WWE, but someone messed up.
The night started off great, with A New Day (I’m not really sure what their gimmick is supposed to be at all) and Team CatFacts. They’re really called Team UpperCATS, but Tyson Kidd’s “Cats” and “Fact” kneepads make my name vastly superior. Philadelphia didn’t like New Day at all, but I don’t really understand why. I’ve always enjoyed watching Kofi Kington and Big E (Langston), and Cesaro and Tyson Kidd are both charismatic and hilarious. CatFacts won the bout, much to the pleasure of the Philly crowd.
Then, the show actually started. The opening tag match between the Usos and Miz and Mizdow only really served the latter pair. The Usos kept the belts, and Miz(dow) kept actually having a storyline. Philadelphia loves them some Damien Mizdow.
Wait. The Acension beat the New Age Outlaws before that. No one cared. New Age Outlaws enjoyed a nice pop when they ran into the ring wearing Phillie Phanatic hats, but once the match started, no one really cared.
The Divas match was low-stakes, and I didn’t really understand the plot behind it. Unfortunately, WWE’s booking of the women is generally pretty bad. When did Brie turn evil again? Why did Brie turn evil? No one knows. That being said, both Bellas are improving in the ring, and Paige and Natalya don’t really need much improvement. The Bellas won, and I wish the prize had been a rewarding storyline for the female wrestlers.
Next was the match of the night. Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena vs. Seth Rollins. This was the match of the three-week-old year, and it’s going to be hard to top. All three men had crowd support in varying factions (Cena with the least and Lesnar with the most. I’m a Rollins girl.) Rollins put Lesnar through a table. Lesnar F5’d everyone. Paul Heyman yelled a lot. Cena tried to AA Lesnar five times in a row. He got to 3. Womp Womp. Lesnar retained to the roar of the crowd.
The crowd was ecstatic getting into the Royal Rumble Match…