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Chris Pratt in Jurassic World

(Source: The Mary Sue)

Sorry, Jeff Goldblum.  I might have a new dinosaur-fighting crush now.

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Guest Article by 1800 mg neurontin

With E3 fresh in our minds and excitement still buzzing happily through the Internet, allow me to turn your attention to one of my two favorite things that happened – Hyrule Warriors.

For those of you who don’t know, Hyrule Warriors is a collaboration game between the classic game series Legend of Zelda and the Dynasty Warriorsseries. It combines elements from both games to create a whole new system of game play and character interaction. Honestly, it sounds awesome, and I for one and pumped! I’ve never played a Dynasty Warriorsgame so I don’t really know much about it, but Legend of Zelda I can talk about.

     Everything we know about Hyrule Warriors is shaping up to be a whole lot of firsts for the Legend of Zelda series. Collaboration, multiplayer, totally different gaming style, special attacks – so much is going to be new forZelda players.

The multiplayer action is probably going to be the biggest change up sinceZelda fans are used to playing as the beloved Hero of Time, Link, and only Link. In Hyrule Warriors, we’ve already got a roster of four playable characters – Link, Impa, Zelda, and Midna – with a sly hint that there will be more to come before the game is released.

Take a look at that roster for a second and think about what you see. That’s right! Three playable female characters to a singular male character. That’s incredible! Not a complete shock, though, if you think about Link’s allies throughout the games.  A large portion of his support consists of women, from goddesses to queens to stablehands. Women play a huge role in aiding Link on his various quests as well as shaping his destiny in general (the Hyrule creation myth centers on three goddesses and zero gods).

When you take a look at possible other player characters it’s mostly women who will fit the bill. Sure, Groose from Skyward Sword would make a cool ally and the chance to play as Darunia from Ocarina of Time would be great, but what other men could you pull that aren’t villains? King of Red Lions? Tingle? Linebeck? The best bets for allies are women – Princess Ruto, Tetra, Sheik, Ashei, Nabooru, one of the goddesses, any Gerudo. You get my point.

We’ve got a line up of women who have Link’s back, and the promise of adding more ladies is a very real thing. We’ve always known these ladies were here. Now, thanks to Hyrule Warriors, we’re gonna be able to see firsthand just how kick ass they can really be.

September can’t come fast enough.

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Angelina Jolie as Maleficent

“Let’s take an old tale and tell it anew.”

So begins Maleficent, a fractured fairy tale that addresses a surprising number of issues while still being thoroughly entertaining.

The closest allegory to sexual assault that I have ever seen in a Disney movie comes early in the film, when the peasant Stefan drugs his childhood friend Maleficent and removes the beautiful wings she prizes so much.  He directly steals her bodily agency for his own status.  When she wakes up, her confusion melting into pain, rage, and horror is tough to watch.

 Wicked-ish storyline aside, a lot of the problematic factors in the fairy tale were addressed and even fixed in the film.  For example, Phillip has a lot of reservations about kissing the unconscious girl he met earlier that day in the woods, and only does so when he is told it’s the way to break the curse on her.  No pressure.  When his kiss fails, it is Maleficent’s that saves Aurora.  Phillip is still around for Aurora at the end of the film, but you get the idea that they’re taking it slow.  The film does not end with a kiss, but rather with Aurora’s coronation as queen.

The movie isn’t over when Maleficent saves Aurora.  Aurora returns the favor by freeing her beloved “fairy godmother’s” wings and returning them to their rightful owner.  A traumatic event can destroy you, but the people you love can help to make you whole again.

It’s a fantastic fairy tale for little girls, as well as a cautionary tale.  Yes, the “true love” being non-romantic love was just done in Frozen, but I don’t think hammering the message through again hurts us any.

All in all, I would definitely recommend Maleficent to all but the very very young fairy tale fan in your life.  Four out of five involuntary shapeshifters.

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The Gringotts Dragon

Here be dragons.

This lovely lady has just been placed on top of Gringotts in Universal Studios’ Diagon Alley.  I’m so excited. She was quickly shrouded in scaffolding, so neurontin street value columnist neurontin 300 mg high managed to get quite a picture.

Rumor is that the opening will be on June 26, but guests might be allowed in as soon as June 7.  If anyone manages to sneak in, please drop us a line at