Summer is usually a time where the ladies in bikinis prance around and the movies objectify anything in a skirt. However, for those of us girls who prefer to sit in the dark and lose ourselves in a bucket of popcorn the size of a small pony, this summer’s crop of movies offer a lot for the Fabulous Ladynerds to enjoy.
Top Ten Reasons 2011 is the best summer to be a Pretty Nerdy Thing:
10. Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Pirates sort of lost me last time around, to clarify its low standing on this list. If I have to bring a notebook so I can diagram who’s backstabbing whom, you’re Doing it Wrong. However, word on the street is that this movie is going to be closer to the first, highlighting more Jack Sparrow (and Keith Richards!) antics and less narratively murky romance. Also, they’ve already released the action figures, and Penelope Cruz’s prominence gives me hope for an awesome Action Girl, instead of Keira Knightley’s starry-eyed pirate poseur.
9. James Franco and Tom Felton in Rise of the Planet of the Apes
I don’t even know why they’re making this movie. And honestly? I don’t care. James Franco has proven himself in genre releases such as Spider-Man 1, 2, and that one we don’t talk about, as well as his surprise cameo in The Green Hornet. Tom Felton’s coming off the eighth Harry Potter. It’s late enough in the summer that I’ll want to go to the movies just to get out of the heat, and watching James Franco and Tom Felton do anything beats being outside in the sun where I will burn like a vampire. Which is an excellent segue into:
8. Colin Farrell/ David Tennant/ Anton Yelchin in Fright Night
For honorary Pretty Nerdy Thing Shelley. Colin Farrell as a charismatic vampire? She’s in. Star Trek XI’s adorable Chekhov as the boy next door? Why don’t my neighbors look like this? The Tenth Doctor as the TV host out to get the vampire? Hot. The trailer is underwhelming, but let’s hope the movie, like the TARDIS, is bigger on the inside.
7. Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig in Cowboys and Aliens
I don’t care how old they are. I really don’t. Han Solo as the tough-as-nails sheriff and James Bond as a mysterious man with a bizarre gauntlet? I’ll take it, even though I’m hoping there’s more humor than the trailer implies. Bonus points for Pretty Nerdy Starlet Olivia Wilde.
6. Ryan Reynolds as the Green Lantern
As DC (frantically) explores post-Nolanverse properties to franchise, an honor must be given to one Mr. Ryan Reynolds. The veteran of the frankly squandered X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Reynolds is no stranger to genre flicks. Hopefully he can make the CGI hero the next Batman. Or the next Iron Man. Or at least a decent franchise starter for WB until the Zack Snyder Superman turns up.
It's true! (Image courtesy the hilarious shiznit.co.uk)
5. Super 8
Here, we’re not talking boys. I just really want to see this. The group of kiddos the film centers on is making a zombie movie, and I’m loving the literal Cloverfield-meets-ET vibe. If it can combine the mystery and horror of Cloverfield with the wonder and heart of ET, Abrams might have a popular and critical smash on his hands.
4. The Entire Male Cast of Xmen: First Class
Just look at them. Do I really need to say more?
3. Chris Evans as Captain America
This trailer has been the greatest piece of eye candy a Pretty Nerdy Thing ever had. Watching comic book hero extraordinaire Chris Evans (Human Torch, Lucas Lee, Jensen) morph into a Cap who is noble without being corny has me counting the days toward July 22. Fireworks might be July 4, but my patriotic holiday of choice this year is going to be Cap Day.
2. Chris Hemsworth as Thor/ Tom Hiddleston as Loki (Thor)
Something for everyone here. For those who like their heroes blonde, built, and charming, Hemsworth is a wonderful Thor. He nails it. For those who like their guys morally ambiguous, troubled, and dark, there’s Hiddleston’s Loki. The movie has been out for a week, and he’s already a fangirl favorite. Expect the most adored villain since, well, Felton’s Draco Malfoy, providing ANOTHER excellent segue!
1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part Two
Again, we’re not talking about guys, though the Harry Potter franchise has eye candy to spare and something for everyone. Really, it’s more of a matter of anticipation. People have been looking forward to this movie since 2001, when Sorcerer’s Stone made its debut. I’m excited. You’re excited. I’m buying my midnight tickets now, grabbing my scarf and owl, and getting in line.
